Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Pre-Christmas Woes

Well, folks, it's just about that time again. I've spent the last couple weeks staring disdainfully at the boxes of Christmas decorations stacked precariously against the back wall of my dining room. Is it wrong to consider changing religions just because you're too lazy to decorate? Perhaps I should have listened more carefully when those frighteningly friendly Jehovah's Witnesses stalked mean visited me last month. I don't remember reading anything in the Watchtower about twinkling icicle lights or giant inflatable snowmen...

Anyway... here I am, trying to think of a really good reason not to shove Santa's little plastic butt back in the closet. Last year we did a wonderful job of decorating. We had everything lit up and sparkly in less than forty-eight hours after Thanksgiving. This year, I lack the motivation. I don't feel like perching on a wobbly ladder for three hours to give the illusion of beautiful icicles illuminating our front yard. If our portly local weatherman would've been more accurate in his recent prediction of a foreboding ice storm... I might have been able to "fake it" by dangling a flashlight out of the window to accentuate the natural sparkle of authentic icicles on my porch. But... I digress...

I have acquired a new found respect for the people who leave their Christmas lights up year round. Sure, it may look a bit absurd to see the unlit cords strewn from window to rafter in the middle of July... but just how hilarious it must be to the casual passersby to see my giant, half-frozen rear end balancing on one foot atop a shaky ladder, threatening a Styrofoam Blitzen in a desperate effort to enhance my home's holiday curb appeal. Those wonderfully intelligent beings who had the forethought to leave their decorations up, now have the "last laugh". They simply dust off a few extension cords and plug everything in. It frees up plenty of time to make hot cocoa (with marshmallows) and watch from their windows... mocking me... as I try to finish my decorating.

Well, my friends, I must go and try to tackle this daunting obstacle so that I may pave the way to holiday bliss. Wish me luck. And, if you need a really good laugh, you can always brew up a thermos of hot cocoa and drive down my street tonight. :)

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