Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Well, it's that time again. The time of year when tom leaves his hen and little poults (turkey chicks) behind to make his way to our dinner table. Blissfully ignorant as he chows down on feed throughout the summer becoming the perfect specimen for an autumn feast... unaware that the diner shall soon become the dined upon. As he stares down the axe, his little snood quivering in mortal fear, he secretly wishes that he'd scored higher on his SATs and finished business school. Being an accountant would surely be better than this! (Well, maybe.)

Anyway... the turkey will somehow make his way into the roaster, the little giblet bag successfully removed (I hope) and replaced with herb-seasoned breadcrumbs... basted in butter and seasonings. His juicy, delectable goodness will become the centerpiece to a giant feast. He will find himself surrounded by platters of freshly steamed vegetables, piping hot side dishes and sinfully sweet pies and desserts.

I dread the cooking. I normally love to cook, but I find myself intimidated by the massive quantity of food. And, it is mind boggling to plan a meal that is prepared to perfection, and timed in such a way that everything is still hot and delicious when it reaches the plates of our guests.

I'll probably be exhausted before I even get out the first pan. I've been trying to prepare the house for our guests. I've steam-cleaned the carpets... successfully removing wads of bubblegum out of my daughters' bedroom carpet. I've managed to get the long forgotten baby formula stains out of my recliner. I've dusted in the deepest recesses of our home... chasing out "dust bunnies" who thought they would eternally be munching on "dust carrots" while I turned a blind eye. I really don't look forward to this holiday.

And, if the extra cooking and cleaning aren't enough, there's the fact that the ten pounds I just lost are hiding around the corner, giggling and pointing at the areas of my thighs that they plan to resettle. I'll have to stay on the treadmill until Christmas Eve just to break even! (Cursed pie!)

Then I'll have "THE CLEANUP". (Yeah, it's bad enough to rate quotation marks AND capitalization!) Everyone will be finished eating in less than a half hour, and then I'll get to spend about three hours and a half-dozen soapy sinkfuls of water to wash the dishes after scraping the leftovers into an assortment of food storage containers. (Oh, how I despise food storage containers... but that's a topic for a future rant.) And, of course, everyone else will be sitting on the sofa, pants unbuttoned, watching football... Ah...Thanksgiving. (I'm thankful it only comes once a year!)

Well, my friends, I probably won't be posting to my blog until after the holiday. I'll need time to recover. In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, shared with family and filled with love. ;)

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